10 Sep 7 SPIRITUAL LESSONS FROM BURNING MAN 2019
Angelina’s 7 Spiritual Lessons from Burning Man 2019
It’s almost impossible for me to distill trekking into the desert for 8 potent days into words, but I’ll do my best in the hopes that you will benefit from the illumination that the playa provides.
I’ve had so many people want to know more about my Burning Man experience. I plan to share more about the logistical details, but before that here are this years 7 spiritual lessons that I learned in the desert.
**Please also know that unlike a polished article – this is more like a journal. There may be misspelled words, run on sentences, or grammatical errors. It’s also long, read it on a break and let it stir inside of you. Please also feel free to reach out if you have any questions or want to talk further about a certain subject. I am currently taking new clients and would be delighted if this sparked your interest in working with me.
Lesson#1 – Say YES to the gifts that are offered.
Jeremy and his friend Nathan call it becoming “A MASTER RECEIVER”.
The highlight of my burn were the gifts that people gave me, so many that I can not list, but I have to share this story. One day after spending 3 days of building from 7am to 8pm a guy who we’d been building with came up to Jeremy and I to commented on how much he loved our commitment to each other. At the time we were deep in what Jeremy lovingly refers to as “The War”. We were in partnership – yet there were some unresolved tensions from the month prior that were flooding in as we had more time to think and feel. After a particularly hard morning where after hours of deep conversation – I finally realized that I’d once again been triggered by my fear of him dying. (I realized a few years ago that part of the reason I close my heart is when I feel too much love and connection.)
His recent propane explosion brought up fears for me and so without consciously noticing it I took my love away during a time that he was needing me most. After seeing this linage of behaviors, patterns, and having a good cry together I walked out of the tent to go to lunch. This same person mentioned above said “I’d like to gift you a deep healing session.” YES I thought, I fucking need it. I just saw something about myself that I have NO idea how to change. And so we proceeded to plan a time.
Allowing someone to take their time to focus on my healing a growth — that was something I had to consciously choose. I met him later that night about 9pm for our session. He shared that he would like to offer me a 5MEo ceremony. (you can look it up, it’s a form of DMT that comes from a poisonous toad). I thought we were just going to talk? And now I’m being offered a private ceremony with a trained medicine man, in the healing dome that Jeremy and I put up and decorated. WOW. It took me some time to let in this giant gift, to check in with myself, to feel the resounding yes. That night was something I will never forget and changed me deeply. I may share about this more in the future – for now it’s my special experience. When I used to say NO because my logical mind could not get on board — I now TRUST myself and say YES to receiving. (Note: for those who curious or who may make up stories about burning man being a drug feast, beyond this ceremony…I was sober this entire burning man, because I chose to be.)
Lesson #2 – Letting go is critical to our soul’s evolution.
I had “letting go” as a concept in my life, but not as an active way to live. Instead I would avoid completion, sudden changes, or shaking things up. I preferred a steady upward growth and feared any kind of dissolution, so much so that I would often ignore intuitions, anger, or anything that would cause me to question a certain way I had been doing something for a long time. (If it’s working – let’s keep it, would most def have been a mantra of mine).
This years Burning man theme was Metamorphosis, a transformation of sorts. The past year I’ve spent re-acquainting myself with slowing down enough to truly choose to let things go instead of waiting until life blows up and forces me to. This year’s BM theme invited in more death, letting go, and reminded me that if we don’t learn to let things go how will we ever allow our soul’s path to unfold. We must let go of who we thought we were, what we once believed, and any grip of the unhealthy kind as we evolve in this lifetime.
Lesson #3 – Being in my body is what connects me to my receptive side (intuition & presence).
This past year has been ALL about getting out from behind my computer and into my body. Our new pizza business is physical, often 6-8 hours on our feet. I went to the desert to play – but the desert requires you to work and it’s all about BEING in YOUR BODY. Electronics suck me in, confused me, cause my mind to spin in 1000 directions. At burning man there are no electronics, lots of dancing, walking, biking, and we use our bodies to create art – in that place intuition and presence are easy to find. This is something that I plan to adopt every day. Time to be in my body – dancing, walking, creating, especially when I get confused on my purpose or am finding it hard to stay present to what matters most.
Lesson #4 – I am my true center. Only I can choose for myself, protect my own heart, and know what I need and want.
While this seems simple, it’s not. Raised in a culture of tending to my outside world and the wants and needs of others it’s simply crazy talk. It’s been my lifelong family lineage — raised by givers who nurtured all and left little for themselves, it’s been a tough habit to shake. I realized this past year that while my muscles for knowing what others need and want are strong — I’ve not really known what I truly want (just for the sake of wanting, independent of survival).
The same night that I was offered the 5meO ceremony the facilitator asked me if I wanted Jeremy to attend. At first I said yes, thinking that I needed his protection and also thinking of him and assuming that he would most likely want to be there (and maybe even triggered if I said no).
As I said yes, I felt a slight clenching in my belly, which I’ve come to realize is my bodies way to alerting me that it’s not my truth. I’ve spent the last year learning how tune into what I desire. I then realized that if my intention was to find my own true center independent of anyone else, I needed to find safety within myself. Jeremy’s been my greatest protector and yet I needed to feel safe with my own self.
I’ve surrounded myself with very strong powerful people in the past who knew what they wanted — and now it’s was time to learn to stand on my own. To trust myself. During the ceremony I found my center.
Lesson #5 – I love talking about sex, love, and relationships
This year Jeremy and I lead the erection of Camp Mystic’s Healing Dome and decorated it to be a nourishing oasis for those who walked in for refuge to receive healing services from a list of 40+ healers. We also co-created a Sacred Sensuality Party for over 70 people, led by a couple that created the tantra institute in New York. This night is a curated experience all about pushing sexual edges (whatever that means to each person) and making sensuality less taboo. There’s so much healing to be had when it comes to our bodies, sensuality, sex, and Eros. For some the edge is making love to their partner in public place, having conversations about sexual fantasies, or exploring conversations of inviting others to join.
Because we co-lead this year we ended up talking to so many couples about their fears, concerns, sex lives, relationships and I learned that I’ve come so far in this area. I loved each and every conversation and started to feel alive in ways that I have not in a couple years. It used to be a funny joke between Jeremey and I, “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I ever ended up being a sex, love, and relationship coach?” We’d laugh because we both knew that I was a hot mess in these areas, but now after all of these years I began to see the mastery that I’ve achieved. I feel excited about coaching other women and other couples into the freedom that I’ve found!
Lesson # 6 – How to truly honor my King. I am you and you are me.
After my private 5meo ceremony, I felt different. I felt more deeply connected to myself and also to others. I don’t exactly remember when this happened, but after a passionate love making session with my beloved where I felt myself for the first time in over a month fully surrender to him. (for those of you who are unaware of what I’m saying, there’s sex, loving making, and then there’s fully surrendering into your partner) Fully surrendering to the pleasure is what happens when I’m not trying to keep control out of fear.
Embracing, looking into each others eyes, I started to cry. For years I’ve told him I thought he was too critical and pushes me way too hard. He’s been my greatest catalyst and space holder and instead of honoring him for taking on this role, I’ve often projected & complained about this. I saw him. I saw myself. I saw how much he’s taught me, been a catalyst in my healing, and how his intuition has lead us on so many of my most important soul journeys. Lastly, I saw that I can only appreciate and love him as much as I appreciate and love myself, for they are the same.
Lesson #7 – I am already enough.
In years past I would spend hours in the talks and seminars learning more from many well-known thought leaders. I’d highlight and would them live close to my watch to ensure I would not miss the info. Last year I remember leaving some pretty amazing moments so that I would not be late! Jeremy would make fun of me telling me I was such a good girl 🙂 Thank God this past year I’ve been focused on being present to what matters most to me, to be in flow, and to listen to what energetically draws me (instead of what my logical mind thinks I need to do). Not only do I now know that I am enough, but it allowed me to truly be in flow this burn.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking your time to read this. As I said earlier, please reach out if you have any questions or want to connect with me. I offer FREE 30-Min Discovery Session’s as I love connecting and being of service.
As always please feel free to “contact me” to share your thoughts!